ORLANDO (God is near the brokenhearted)

My heart is very heavy on this Sunday. I woke up Saturday morning to see that Christina Grimme had been killed in Orlando. Such an amazing young woman. So full of life and talent. I loved listening to her music, and her tweets always made me laugh. The whole day yesterday I just couldn't believe that had happened. She was too young. I was sad and confused. I knew though that Christina was a Christian and her hope was secure. Though we are grieving this side of heaven for that sweet girl, I know for certain she is singing and dancing with the angels.

But then I woke up this morning and my heart hurt even more. A headline. "50 dead in Orlando". Another shooting, same city. A gay nightclub. An Islamic shooter. My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families. For those dead, may God have mercy on their souls. May the peace of the Holy Spirit rain down over their families and friends. For Omar Saddiqui Mateen, may God have mercy on your soul as well. I am praying for you. My heart is broken for you. 

I am a Christian, many of you know that. I don't hate the LGBT community. I don't hate the Muslim community. I love both with the same love Christ has shown me, a filthy sinner who does not deserve the grace I have received. I am more disheartened by those who claim to be Christian but show so much hate to these two groups of HUMAN BEINGS. No one should ever treat a person with such hate and demise. I don't care if you are black, white, yellow, gay, lesbian, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, or whatever else there is out there, a person is a person no matter what religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. 

Now let me clarify myself. As a Chrisitan, I cannot support the ideals of the LGBT community. It's against my faith. I also cannot support Muslim beliefs because it is also against my faith. Meaning that I am not going to live those same lifestyles as a Christian. 

But just because I do not support these groups does not mean that I hate them or am here to judge them. No. Not at all. I am not "better than" any of these people because of my beliefs and will never treat someone less of a person because of my faith. I just believe that there is a way free from these things with Christ that brings life, grace, and forgiveness. I will never force my faith on anyone but will always live out what I believe. I strive to look like love...to look like Jesus.

Today I smile and think back to the dinner an Iraqi family made me (let me tell you, it was AH-MA-ZING). Muslims and Christians sitting with one another talking, laughing and sharing a meal together. They taught me about customs they had in Iraq and we laughed about our crazy American slang. It was a night I will never forget. I think about the elementary student from Jordan that I worked with my first semester of college. Muslim and Christian working hand in hand to understand each other's cultures. Helping him read and write English as he taught me about life in Jordan. So excited to get to talk about his pet rabbit they had to leave behind in Jordan and how unlike the United States, Jordan has a king. I can't help but smile seeing him in the back of my mind try to figure out how Kentucky was not actually a country but a state. Or thinking back to the moment when I stood baffled at this nearly bilingual eight-year-old practice his English letters and showing me his Arabic letters too. 

I also smile at the friends I have made in the LGBT community. My friend who made me laugh so hard on days I didn't want to. He brought laughter and light into the room. Gay and straight laughing and sharing life together. The many in the gay community that were right by my side to help me adjust to college and all the coursework. For them, I am forever grateful. 

As a Christian, I love these people. I want to be their friends and neighbors. I want to show them what life with Christ is like. I want to be by their side when unimaginable tragedies such as this occur. I know that's what Christina Grimme would have wanted too. 

Days like today are heartbreaking for both LGBT and Muslim communities. It's heartbreaking for the Grimme family. The only finger that can be pointed is directed toward the devil himself and sin. And I cannot wait for the day that Christ returns and saves us all from this sick world. 

Orlando, I am praying and weeping with you. 

Chocolate Iced Coffee Protein Smoothie

If you didn't know, I work part-time at a fast food restaurant that we have here in the states called Chick-fil-a. We came out with this new beverage called the frosted coffee. It's ice cream and coffee blended together, and if you add some chocolate, it's pure bliss. However, this lovely treat is NOT healthy in the slightest. No matter how many calories are in it. So I wanted to try something similar for myself but not with all the unhealthy delicacies added. I know this recipe has probably been created and shared before, but I put this together one day in my blender and LOVED it even more than Chick-fil-a's frosted coffee. And this recipe? Completely healthy. No added sugars. Perfect for kick starting your morning or a post-workout treat. I love getting to sneak some coffee into my shakes. Here's the low down on this delicious smoothie:

Chocolate Iced Coffee Protein Smoothie

Ingredients:

1 banana (frozen)

1/2 cup chilled coffee

1/2 cup almond milk (or any nondairy milk of your choice)

1 scoop chocolate protein powder

Ice (to your own preference) 

Directions:

Put all the ingredients in your blender and blend until smooth. ENJOY!!

Hope you give this treat a whirl! Also, I have been brewing my coffee the night before and chilling it all overnight. I use the leftover chilled coffee for iced coffee throughout my day! Such a nice treat too!

Three of my Favorite "Treat Yo' Self" Ideas

I got three words for ya.
What are those three words, you may ask?

I watched this episode of Parks and Rec on my last day of my fall 2015 semester and it legitimately changed my life. Honestly, how often do we take the time out of our insane schedules to simply take care of ourselves? Not very often, let me tell you. I decided to make sure I was taking these days every once in a while, like once a month if possible. Taking one day, or maybe just a few hours to do what I want. It sounds pretty selfish, but I consider it more of quiet, winding down, and relaxing time. We all need to destress and just enjoy ourselves. Treat Yo' Self days look different for everyone, but here are a few of my go-to's for these special days

1. Buy something you've been wanting for a while

I consider myself to be a frugal person, but I still think it's always a good idea to (occasionally) treat myself to something a little more expensive after some hard work weeks. Buy that new shirt you've been wanting. Find some coupons and head over to buy that new wallet. Or get something small. Buy that book from the used bookstore. Enjoy treating yourself, and remember it's not something you are spending a lot of money on frequently. This week, I spent some tax refund money on a long overdue haircut. It was at a nice salon, and I spent more than I normally would, but it was so, so worth it. I love my new cut, by the way.

2. YUMMY TREATS

Take a break from that diet and grab a brownie. Or a cupcake. Get yourself a nice sweet or savory treat that you have been craving. OR, for a healthier alternative, make a healthy SWEET or SAVORY treat! All that matters is that it is a TREAT to you. For example, I treated myself to a Mediterranean wrap for dinner and low-fat froyo and fruit for dessert. It was bomb. I also ate brownies today. 

3. Spa TREATments

This is my main thing I do for "treat yo self" days. I want to look and feel...well...as fabulous as Tom in that gif above. Manicures. Pedicures. Facials. Massages.Yoga. The whole sha-bang. Go get it done at a spa or be like me and DIY! Tonight I did a detox bath and it was HEAVENLY! Here is the recipe, please give it a try!

And there you have it! There are PLENTY more ideas and tips that I have, and I will be sure to share more in the future. Friends, remember to take some time for yourself. It's something you literally need to do for your own health, mentally and physically. The most important key to Treat Yo' Self days? 

Do what makes you happy. 

The Thing You Can't Forget

I forget so much. It's human nature I guess. I forget to do my laundry before work. I forget to send in forms. I forget to text people back (a LOT). I even forget where I am going sometimes when I'm driving. Why do we forget? We get distracted. We get so busy. This year has been crazy busy. If there is one thing college taught me, it's how busy life can seriously get. In the midst of the craziness I forgot a lot of things. A few deadlines for quizzes, assignments, and tuition bills. There is one thing that I forgot this year that is far more important than any of these minor day-to-day hassles. I guess I didn't really forget it, because it's not something you can entirely forget. Rather, I de-prioritized it, and it hit me hard. Forgetting this brought a lot of harm to my life that I didn't even notice. What is this, you may ask? I suppose you could say I forgot my faith. Now don't go freaking out that I chose a different religion or something. Because this was far worse. It started with forgetting to pray. Then forgetting to read the word. Then changing the radio station. Then saying different words. Then letting my thoughts stray. The perfect way to fall into Satan's grasp if you want to fool others and yourself. The life of a busy college student consumed my thoughts and God was pushed aside. Sin slowly seeped in. An after-thought. I went to Him before exams and when I was hitting a writer's block for a paper and left after it was over. It wasn't until I hated what I was saying and doing...the way I treated my family and friends until I realized something was not right. And I'd love to tell you that the semester ended with me being the dedicated, holy Christian I should be. This has been a struggle for me that I want to face. 

Tonight I questioned myself, "How could I be so selfish and so ignorant as to ignore the Master of all Heaven and Earth?" And I can hear the Lord calling out to me, pleading for me not to chose sin but to choose LIFE in abundance with Him. 

So to myself and to all believers struggling with the same thing, I say HUMBLE YOURSELF. Do you not remember the God you serve? 

And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."

Isaiah 6:3 

Bow before Him. Surrender. This is not your life, do not be so selfish to think it is in any way belonging to you. Choose the sweeter, but so much more challenging life with Christ. Obey what He has commanded. Love Him with all you are. Becuase He gave you life through His death on the cross. 

I want to finish this post with two things. 

1) I choose life. A life with Christ. A life lived for His glory. Choosing this life over what the world has to offer. 

2) Colossians 3:1-14

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

A Letter I've Been Meaning to Write (it's about time)

I've been meaning to say this for a while. It's been on my mind for quite some time. One of my quirks is that I can express what I'm feeling better in writing that talking. So here goes. Kind of an open letter. It started well before you thought it was official. Please don't think I didn't see it coming. I knew the signs and I could hear it in your voice. You were falling in love. He started talking to you and he wanted to spend more time with you...and you did too. You were afraid of it all and we talked for hours. But I didn't really know what to say. I've never really had it happen to me. I don't know what it feels like. I'm not sure if I ever will. You know it now though and I hope it's everything we ever dreamed of when we were little kiddos dreaming about the future. Then the day came...a Sunday in the fall. A piece of homemade pizza in my mouth when you said it. You didn't tell me much for a few weeks because you wanted it to be in person, which I appreciated. Even though I was the last person to find out. And thus began the journey of no return.

Things would never be the same. I was so excited (and still am!) for you and this new adventure, but I knew I would start to get left behind. I felt it from the moment you said he remembered you from that April. It was inevitable and it's unstoppable now, so please don't go making excuses or promises. It's a part of life. We are changing, we are growing, and we are learning how this all works. Later in October we came to my favorite Starbucks (you all got lost on the way). I met this young man I had heard so much about. I stepped out of my car, gave you a big hug and then stuck my hand out to shake his hand. He ignored my hand and went straight for the hug. In that moment, I laughed to myself. He was perfect for you. We sat and had coffee. He didn't pay for my coffee and I will forever hold it against him. You were all protective (like you always are), trying to act like your old self (the "before you met him" self). Don't act like I didn't catch that, I know you. You wanted me to see that our friendship wouldn't change with him being in your life. Oh, how I wish you knew how much it would. But not in a bad way, please keep that in mind. In a developing, growing way. We walked out of the Starbucks and back to my car. We said goodbye and you walked away holding his hand. I sat in my car and cried. I cried on my way home. You didn't know that did you? Why did I cry? I didn't want things to change because I knew they would.

Six months went by, and here we are. He's still perfect for you. I know it. Things did change whether you noticed or not. I'm no longer the "go-to". I'm not the first person you talk to. He spends all the time with you that I used to get. He talks to you more than I do. I'm not being replaced as your best friend, we talked about this. Don't you see it, though? He's just becoming a more important part of your life than me. Don't argue. Don't shake your head. It's true. This is big for you, a  huge step into adulthood. It's exciting, it's new. We never dreamed this day would come. And while you are off being swept off your feet, I'm still here. Sometimes it gets pretty lonely. I've cried about it more than you know. Becuase while this is new and exciting but also a new challenge for you, it's just as hard on me. Knowing that he comes first now is hard for a best friend to accept. I hate change, you know that. I miss the days when we stood next to a table and ate lunch (we were too rebellious for chairs). We were impenetrable. We didn't care what anyone thought and we didn't have a worry in the world.

Don't mistake this for an "I'm still single and you aren't" pity party because I dread the day (if it even comes which isn't likely) that I find someone. Becuase then it will be even harder to get past this. Let's get something straight though. I'm still your best friend (lol its too late to get rid of me, hashtag "sorry not sorry"). What I have been having a hard time with lately is learning to still be best friends with you as our lives are changing and as we are maturing. I don't like it sometimes, but we have to accept what comes our way. The Lord wrote you into my story long before I was born. It blows my mind that at the dawn of creation, He knew you and I would become sisters at heart. We met as dorky and hilarious little middle schoolers. I loved our friendship. But just as we changed (BLESS!! PTL for puberty, I know it did wonders for me) grew out of our dorky and hilarious little middle school selves, our friendship did too. Our friendship made a leap though as we entered college. I'm terrified of the leap when we graduate. It's a matter of learning to love our friendship in every season.

Why did I write this here? Why didn't I just tell you? I don't know. Right now I'm just praying you might read it. To be honest, I am terrified to tell you that this is what I've been thinking. I didn't want to talk about it. I couldn't find the words. Also we haven't really had time. And that's okay. Maybe you'll read it maybe you won't. Maybe someone else will read this and will be able to relate. I don't know.

We'll see where the road takes us. Thank you for sticking with me on the journey thus far. I can't wait to see where the future takes us.

8 Lessons Learned from Freshman Year

My freshman year of college has come and gone in the blink of an eye. It was kind of crazy how fast it went by. In the midst of the school year, it felt like life was dragging on. The school work never ended and the days were so long. Looking back though, it breezed by me! Anyhoo, here are a few things I personally took away from my first year of college.

1. Wake up much earlier before you need to leave

I mean this is pretty obvious but for a solid month during the fall semester I was waking up 15 minutes before I needed to leave before I hit traffic. Of course, I was setting myself up for forgetting important stuff and being rushed in the morning. By spring, I had a great morning routine set. Time to wash my face, make my bed, make up + hair (I am the girl that loves to semi-dress up for class, sorry not sorry), and even eat breakfast. You learn as you go I suppose. 

2. Write everything down in your planner

I swear my planner saved my life this year. Everything I needed to do was right there. Only problem was when I forgot to put something in the good old planner. Like tuition bill payments (they have late fees ya know) Oops. 

3. Get involved on campus

I'm a commuter, so getting involved with on campus activities can be a bit of a challenge. I decided to join the homecoming committee and volunteered around campus and it was a great way to meet new friends (also that kind of stuff looks great on a resume).

4. Don't procrastinate

Again, another obvious thing. But getting a head start on your work is easier in the long run. All it takes is some extra effort. I learned that I needed to get started on assignments ASAP. So that meant immediate trips to the writing center and my favorite spot at the library.

5. Find study spots!!

Definitely a biggie for me. I loved getting to explore the ins and outs of campus for good study spots. 4th floor of the library, tables outside of law school, 2nd floor of the library hidden away in Microfilms & Periodicals. You don't find these nooks easily. I loved getting to settle with my iced americano into my study spot for a long study sesh. 

6. Try not to miss class (but know when it's appropriate not to show up)

I didn't miss a single class this year. What a freshman thing to do, am I right? There were definitely a few classes I could have missed. But I am paying good money for these classes. And participation points do help when final grades come around

7. Don't get distracted

My number one problem. Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, making Spotify playlists...I could have gotten so much more work done if I had put these away. I want to make it a goal to save social media for certain times of the day only, kind of like a reward.  

8. Enjoy every day as it comes

Sometimes college is really fun. Sometimes it drags by. Regardless, I want to enjoy these four years (now three more years!!) and make the most of them! I found a quote that fits this so well, I even pinned it on my bulletin board above my desk. 

"Appreciate life as it happens. Moments will soon pass and you will wish you had treasured them more"

Where am I now and where am I going?

Whoa! It's been a long time since I last posted on my lovely little blog. I have finished an entire year of college (whoop whoop!). What an experience it has been! I've learned so much this past year, inside and outside of the classroom. Most importantly, I learned a lot about myself this year and who God is calling me to be. I love college and realized how incredibly crazy it is, which is why I haven't blogged very much. Now that summer break is here for me, I'd like to take this little blog in a new direction. In the past, I loved getting to use this place to share ideas and thoughts and start networking with other bloggers. Life happens, and I'm into that so much anymore. However, I have found that I need a creative outlet. And what a better place than this? I don't care if two people read what I have to say, or ten, or no one at all. I want to take this opportunity to use my words and whatever creativity skills I have and just see what happens. Consistency is not the goal here, more authenticity. I want to use this as an outlet for things I've been thinking about or trying. Just to write and express myself. So, let's enjoy it, shall we?