Friday, June 5, 2015


"Dreams they come, plans they change. Yeah, we're gonna break, yeah we're gonna break. Things we face make us who we are. Baby you're a star shining in the dark"

Those lyrics ring true to my life. Dreams they come, but plans…oh how they change! I had so many dreams about college. So many things I wanted to do. Nothing is going how I expected it to be or even wanted it to be. That's just life I suppose. I didn't make the test score. I didn't win the scholarship. Most of my friends don't understand, but I am very thankful for the ones that do. I'm not sure what I've done wrong or how I could have done better. I see now that I'm going to have to go about things the hard way. Nothing truly good has ever come easy though.

I see so many others with their paths paved out quite nicely. Pretty scholarships and lovely awards. No worries or burdens. Its hard to see that and try to understand what I could have done better. 

I can't forget, however, that God has me right where He wants me. Why this place? Why this time? Why this situation? I don't know. I will find out in time. All I can do is pray, seek His will for my life, and glorify Him in all I do. God has provided for me in the past, why would He fail me now? He knows how long to be secure in perfection and He wants to change that. He wants me to trust Him with all I am, not in a scholarship or a test score. This world will fail me. I'm seeing that everyday. The Lord, strong and mighty, will never fail me. He won't fail you either. 

Even though things would appear they're not going in my favor, God has His ways. He knows what He's doing. He will provide. I can be secure in these truths. I am in no place to tell God that He is writing my story wrong. The pen is His, not mine. I know that the journey will not be easy and I will go through many more trials and days where I just don't understand. But I do know where my hope is found. 

If there's one thing I know for sure, its that if we are not truly and utterly desperate for God, we will be terribly empty and disappointed the rest of our lives. 

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