Desperate

"Dreams they come, plans they change. Yeah, we're gonna break, yeah we're gonna break. Things we face make us who we are. Baby you're a star shining in the dark"

Those lyrics ring true to my life. Dreams they come, but plans…oh how they change! I had so many dreams about college. So many things I wanted to do. Nothing is going how I expected it to be or even wanted it to be. That's just life I suppose. I didn't make the test score. I didn't win the scholarship. Most of my friends don't understand, but I am very thankful for the ones that do. I'm not sure what I've done wrong or how I could have done better. I see now that I'm going to have to go about things the hard way. Nothing truly good has ever come easy though.

I see so many others with their paths paved out quite nicely. Pretty scholarships and lovely awards. No worries or burdens. Its hard to see that and try to understand what I could have done better. 

I can't forget, however, that God has me right where He wants me. Why this place? Why this time? Why this situation? I don't know. I will find out in time. All I can do is pray, seek His will for my life, and glorify Him in all I do. God has provided for me in the past, why would He fail me now? He knows how long to be secure in perfection and He wants to change that. He wants me to trust Him with all I am, not in a scholarship or a test score. This world will fail me. I'm seeing that everyday. The Lord, strong and mighty, will never fail me. He won't fail you either. 

Even though things would appear they're not going in my favor, God has His ways. He knows what He's doing. He will provide. I can be secure in these truths. I am in no place to tell God that He is writing my story wrong. The pen is His, not mine. I know that the journey will not be easy and I will go through many more trials and days where I just don't understand. But I do know where my hope is found. 

If there's one thing I know for sure, its that if we are not truly and utterly desperate for God, we will be terribly empty and disappointed the rest of our lives. 

Graduation

May 15th, 2015. Cap and gown on. Everyone lined up, beaming with nerves and butterflies. My sweetest, dearest best friend hugged me before it began. The seniors strutted down the aisle, just like we practiced, and filed on the stage. It was really happening. I had a hard time staying focused. Partially because I haven't had a good night's sleep in a few weeks, and also because I couldn't believe it was happening. We were really graduating. I got my diploma, I turned the tassel. We left as we came, but burst through the doors now highschool graduates. So many hugs, so many "I love you"'s. At the reception, my dad and I looked around the packed room. "You realize", he said to me, "this is probably one of the last times you will see some of these people." He was right. We were all headed off in different directions to have different adventures. So I cherished the last few moments of it. What was funny was that I really didn't see anyone crying very much. A few tears, yes. I mean it was graduation. Instead, there was a feeling I know everyone was overcome with. Joy and excitement for the future. It was time to move on. We celebrated the past few years of hard work, friendship, and fun, but so overjoyed that the transition finally came. We've got lots more celebrating to do this month (gotta love those grad parties). Life is just about to begin. I don't know what God has in store for me as I begin my college career to be an English teacher. I saw two rainbows today, though, (literally, it was pretty cool) and was reminded that the Lord has promised that my life and my heart are in His hands. And that is enough. 

Lots of love,

Madison 

(Highschool graduate) 

Healthy Strawberry Oatmeal Muffins

If you like chewy, moist muffins with a hint of strawberry flavor, then this is the recipe for you.

To be honest, I wasn't sure if this would work because I made so many alterations from the original recipe. 

Fortunately, they turned out pretty good! I think I could have added more strawberry purée to give it more flavor. 

Good news with these muffins...they are whole wheat, no oil, and only one sugar. In fact, you probably can cut down the sugar or cut it all-together by substituting honey. For a first try, I'd say these were a success. I will be making these again!

  

    Healthy Strawberry Oatmeal Muffins

Ingredients:

• 2 eggs

• 2/3 cup brown sugar

• 1/2 cup applesauce 

• 1/2 cup milk (I used coconut milk)

• 1 cup whole wheat flour

• 3/4 cup instant oatmeal

• 1 tsp baking powder

• 1/2 tsp baking soda

• Pinch of salt

• 1/2 cup strawberry purée 

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (or 200 degrees Celsius) and grease muffin pans 

2. Whisk eggs, brown sugar, applesauce, and milk until smooth.

3. Stir in flour, oatmeal, baking powder, baking soda, and salt with the wet ingredients. Mix well to form batter.

4. Mix in strawberry purée (add more if you would like more strawberry flavor). 

5. Pour into muffins pans and bake until golden brown and inserted toothpick comes out clean (approx 20 mins)

                        Xoxo,

                          Madison

The was, is, and will be

The feeling came slow…then all at once. Like the leaves changing in autumn. There are experiences and people who have come in to my life that I am so grateful for. Adventures that taught me how to live with passion and purpose. People that left their masks behind and were simply real. Moments spent in tears because we were laughing so hard. Other moments that took my breath away because our voices echoed off the massive mountain peaks. I don't get to see these precious people very often. The adventures we shared don't happen every day. It hit me this week how much I miss them. The day ended, and the week flew by. We all hugged farewell and headed to different gates to return home. We waved goodbye from separate cars as we drove in different directions. We said "so-long" and "stay in touch" in a crowded capital room. This feeling wasn't depressing, although I was a little sad when I thought of the people and adventures. Rather, I was filled with joy and thankfulness. These friends and experiences were brought to my life for too many reasons to count. Something about these people and events made me feel different. They made me be different. They forced me to be real and to be myself...someone my Facebook friends and Twitter followers haven't seen. While a few of the relationships I've formed these past couple of years are far from over, most are chapters that have come to a close. The places I've ventured out to aren't in my zip code, but I brought a little piece of each to store away only in my heart and mind. This closure is a mix of sadness, joy, greatfulness, memories, and laughter. Ultimately, though many things that have impacted me and shaped me are slipping away, I sense that new doors are awaiting just around the corner. New people. New places. New lessons to be learned. New memories to treasure. 

So I take one last glance out the rearview mirror. One final look out the tiny airplane window. One deep breath before I walk across the graduation stage. In the blink of an eye, I know it it will be gone. 

Our lives are stories. No words of mine could ever write such a tale. I don't determine my destiny. The Author of my life does. I know every single relationship, every experience, every chapter I have been through these past few years have been intricately designed by my Savior. He is teaching me lessons of love, purpose, bravery, forgiveness, and so much more. He leads me every second of every day. He knows what's beyond the corner and behind the new doors. All this gives me chills. It gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. 

I could go on for days about all this. Weeks, probably. So I'll finish this with one word. 

Thankful.